Sorry To Keep You Waiting...

Hey everyone.

Yeah, I know, I know. I said I would be working on this every week, but I've just been either too busy or too lazy or not sure what to type. I'm sorry to those who've been actually following this and wanting to keep up with it. I'll try not to let it happen again. No promises, really. But, I'll do my best.

So, what's been going on? Well, I moved from my old residence to a place with better privacy and better people. It's not my own place yet, but it's a step up from where I was. I still have the same job, but my search for a second one/A new one has been stepped up. I still don't like what I'm doing, so it really needs to change.

I recently reached out to my cousins, in the South, who are really my brothers, and told them everything that I know about how I came about. I was surprised when I got a response, telling that they knew and they wanted to get to know me! You couldn't know how overjoyed I was over it. It has to be one of the best things that's happened to me. I can't wait to get to know them and their families. Maybe, I'll get more insight on my families' past, and probably more on my father. I'm not asking for much, but I can't wait, honestly.

I know I put a "Donate" button up here, but it was only on suggestion by a friend. I don't expect anything, but if you do donate, thank you and I appreciate it. It means a lot.

I'll keep this short, since I'm trying to get back on the horse, but thanks for reading anyways. I hope it wasn't too boring. Thanks.

Peace and respect.

Two weeks late, but happy Independence Day!

Hey everyone.

Sorry this post is two weeks overdue. There really hasn't been much to talk about. I've been pretty much trying to put things into place this month, to help build the foundation to the changes I want to make for myself, before I turn 30. It's no excuse for not posting, but not much has been happening. I have a lot to do this week, with another day off coming up this week. That means I have to do as much as I can in one day. If I start early, it shouldn't be a problem. Wish me luck.

As you can see, I'm posting this on July 4th, Independence Day. The day where we celebrate the birth of our nation and the separation from the British Empire. It is my hope that while everyone went out to the beach, BBQed, spent time with family, or watched "Independence Day" on HBO(sadly it wasn't the extended version FX shows. I like that one better), that you remember those that fought/fight for everything we enjoy and celebrate on this very day. Don't forget the reason for the day, folks. Thanks to all my friends and family that serve or have served in defense of The United States of America and her people.

I'll keep this post short. Until next time, thanks.

Good night, and God Bless America.

Week 2: Father's Day

Hey Everyone!

I know I'm making this week's post, pretty much, at the wire, but I've been so tired the last couple of days, that now, I'm just relaxing and taking it easy. This week was pretty much a hectic week, with work and all, and Friday was a crazy, yet fun day, thanks to those I shared it with. I'm running on an hour and a half's worth of sleep and an energy drink I had, back at around 5 PM, E.D.T. So, it's safe to say that after I'm done with this update, I'm gonna eat and call it a game(Word of advice: Wendy's Apple Pecan Chicken Salad is amazing). 

Thank you to those who commented on my first post, whether on here or on Facebook. I really appreciate the positive thoughts and comments. Your words were a part of helping me get through the week. I will admit, though, for a good part of the week, I was feeling rather down. It started to ease, as the week progressed, but it still lingers in my mind. I may talk about it more, once I know more about it, but right now, it's something that I need to keep to myself. Just for now.

If anyone didn't know, or forgot, tomorrow is Father's Day. First, I wanna wish all the fathers, grandfathers, uncles, and every male who steps up to the challenge to help raise the young of our world, even if they aren't theirs. This day, belongs to you, as well. 

To be honest, this was a day that didn't, and really doesn't, mean that much to me. I didn't have a father growing up. I still don't. Growing up, there were in certain men in my life, who were around, but from my point of view, didn't try to be a father to me. There was my brother's father, and, if any of my brothers/half-brothers are reading this, I'm sorry, but this is how I feel things were, in my eyes, he really didn't try to be a father to me. It, sometimes, seemed like he resented my presence. I remember him paying more attention to his other sons, and as little as possible to me, unless Mom forced him to. Sure, we all lived under the same roofs, but I don't really feel he was much of a parent to me. I, always, felt lonely in that house. 

After him, the next most significant male, in my life was another man named Paul. This was a man that I would grow to despise, with every fiber of my being. When we were living in the same building, he seduced Mom away from us, and turned her down the road, that would eventually lead into us losing her. When we moved back into the Brownsville section of Brooklyn, he followed us. He was even less of a parent to me, and once again, favored my brother more. Despite having no blood relation to us, he was allowed to discipline us and, even hit us, for no reason some of the time. It was around him, that I first learned about swearing.We ended up telling our uncles about him, and when they came to do something about it, my mother would say that we were lying, and protected him. I loved my mother, but I felt really betrayed when she did that. That really did hurt me so much. When our mother got really sick, we never saw him again, despite all of the time she put in with him, putting him up in our house, when she was Knocking on Heaven's Door, he abandoned her. We've never heard or seen him since. I'm glad for it. I don't know what I would do, if I ever saw him again.

After our mother passed, my brother and I were separated. He went to his father, and I went to my grandmother. The only adult males in my life then, were my uncles. And to be honest, as much as I love them, I really didn't feel much from them. They, either, had their own families or their own things going on in their lives. I don't believe that I fit in what their plans were. Most of the things, things I had to learn from a male figure, I had to learn on my own, from books and such. How to tie a tie, shoot a jump shot, hit a baseball, talk to women(which I really can't do very well, hence my being single at 29), I had to learn from reading books, watching T.V. or from the Internet, which was still just beginning at the time. I never felt that I had a definitive male presence in my life. I'm pretty sure that if any of my family reads this, they may disagree with me, but this is how I feel. This is what growing up felt like to me.

As for my own father, my birth father, those that I've told about that situation, you already know how that goes. That's not something I'm truly ready to share with the world just yet. Just know that I know who and where he is, and I feel that the day when I finally approach him and confront him on what he did, is coming soon. I have absolutely no qualms about confronting him and calling him out. I think 29 years is enough time to clear the air and get it off my chest and out of my heart. Perhaps, then, maybe I can truly begin to forgive him, for not being there, when I needed him.

I'm sorry everyone. I went into a long diatribe and this isn't really supposed to be about that. This is supposed to be about me focusing on my life, as a 29 year old and trying to progress. I guess this will also include my own opinions and thoughts about my life, as well. I truly hope that I didn't bore anyone or turn anyone away from this. Anyways, thank you for taking the time to read this. 

Until next time, America(and other countries I may have readers in).

Week 1: Introduction

Hey everyone. Welcome to "1 Year 'Til 30".

You're probably wondering "Where'd this come from?"

I guess I should start by introducing myself.

My name is Marc Jones, and on Wednesday, June 8th, 2011, I turned 29 years old. I kept hearing from everyone "Uh-oh! One more year, and then you're the big 30!" or "You're that old? Really?" So, the days leading up to my birthday, I thought about a lot of things. A LOT of things. Like, do I like where I'm at in my life, did I accomplish anything as a 28 year old, or did any of my plans get done. And the more I thought about it, all I could do is come up to one conclusion:

No, no, and no.

It was, as if, that entire year felt like a waste. Granted, there were some good points, and some really memorable parts of it, but, in the longhaul, it felt like I had accomplished nothing. Not a damn thing. If anything, I felt like I took steps back. Suffice to say, I wasn't happy. In fact, I'm still not happy. Actually, I'm downright mad. This shouldn't have happened. I had such high hopes for that year.

Instead, I got stuck.

Which, sadly, if you know me, is part of the story of my life, like I can't catch a break. As if, nothing good can ever happen to me, despite how hard I try. And more I thought/think about it, it just frustrates me, to no end. It wasn't supposed to be like this. This isn't what I wanted. THIS ISN'T WHAT I WANT! It's just not right. It's not fair. I know there's a saying (and a song) that says "You can't always get what you want". But, when you don't get what you want or even what you need, despite how much and how hard you try, there has to be a point, when you say that you've had enough. Well, I reached that point, and I believe the late, great Owen Hart said it best:

WELL, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, AND IT'S TIME FOR A CHANGE!!

I can't take it anymore. I need to get myself out of this rut and out of this mess. So, therefore, I am going to dedicate this year, my 29th year on this Earth, to going out there and accomplishing what I feel that I need to get myself in a place, where I am truly happy with the things that I've done. At this moment, I am not. In fact, I kinda hate myself, at the moment. I want to get myself to a point, where I can look in the mirror and say "I'm proud of me".

So, you must be wondering "Okay, that's good and all, and we're happy that you want to better yourself. But, seriously dude, why the blog?" Good question. I've decided I want to chronicle my journey into my thirties, and share it, whether you know me or not. I used to write in an online journal, but, this is different. I feel that this is something that I need and want to do. What will happen is that I will update this every week, up into my 30th birthday, Friday, June 8th, 2012. If there's something breaking and exciting, I'll post it in here, before that period in time during the week, which I will update this. Hopefully, some of you will comment in here, and support me in my endeavors to better myself.

Okay, I'm done ranting about my life for now. Thanks for reading, and I, hopefully, will see you next week.

Until next time, take care of yourselves... and each other.